Correcting mistakes: Death Battle
by Sai Kunai Blade
Summary: It happened again, everyone. The show I'm surprised still has fans, Death Battle, have messed up again, bad enough to the point I have to step in and fix what they messed up. And since it's more than likely to happen again, expect for this to become a series.
1. Knuckles vs Donkey Kong

As Knuckles glided over Kong Island for reasons unknown, he suddenly felt and heard the growling of his stomach. He was hungry and his immediate goal changed from whatever it was to finding something to eat. He flew down and landed conveniently near a giant pile of bananas just lying on the ground. He walked over, stopping and looking at the sign that read "Donkey's banana hoard". "'Donkey's banana hoard', huh? I'm sure he won't miss just one." He said, grabbing one and chowing down.

Suddenly, Donkey Kong looked out from behind the massive pile of bananas and turned red with rage that someone took one of his delicious golden treasures. Knuckles noticed him looking at him over the massive pile and paused as he prepared to finish the banana. The two stared at each other for a few second before Knuckles tossed the rest of the banana in his mouth and finished it off with a single chomp. DK looked on in shock, before that changed to rage, steam blowing from his ears as he bulldozed the rest of his hoard, sending bananas everywhere as he roared more like a big cat (lions, tigers, etc.), pounding on his chest and preparing to battle.

 **Fight! (Background music: "Welcome to the Jungle" By Guns N' Roses)**

Donkey Kong slammed his palms down in an attempt to crush Knuckles, but the red echidna easily dodged the attacks. DK then dove at Knuckles, attacking vigorously in a large dust cloud... which Knuckles simply stepped out of, Donkey having dove over him and began attacking wildly at nothing. This dazed the massive gorilla, allowing Knuckles to throw some well-placed shots, before throwing a powerful haymaker that sent the powerful ape flying back into a palm tree, a coconut then falling on his head. This gave the ape an idea, however, as he then jumped into a tree and swung on a vine towards Knuckles, firing away at him with his shotgun.

Knuckles continued to laugh until one of the coconuts hit him in the face. "Oh, no!" He said upon taking the hit. The rest of the coconuts zeroed in on Knuckles, who, with his incredible reflexes, easily dodged the slow-moving projectiles, which fell to the ground after they missed their target. "Alright!" He said happily, raising his fists into the air. DK took this moment as Knuckle's guard was down to launch the echidna into the air with an uppercut. Knuckles managed to block at the last second, minimizing the damage and his ascension into the air, before coming back down and slamming his fist down on DK's head, stunning the massive monkey yet again. He performed another quick and powerful combo on the ruler of the island once again, before he regained his senses, attempting to smash Knuckles again, but the echidna once again jumped over him to dodge the attack. DK then kicked his small opponent, who took his first considerable amount of damage, skidding back a bit before taking off. He turned and ran backwards to ensure the massive simian wasn't following him, confirming this and spinning around to keep running, when suddenly, the bush that was in front of him rose up, revealing it to be DK in disguise.

The massive ape SOMEHOW passed Knuckles and set up this ambush, springing the trap expertly and headbutting Knuckles halfway into the ground. Steam blew from his ears yet again as he wheeled his arm around to finish the fight with one Giant Punch, slamming his fist down where Knuckles was, shattering the ground in its place. However, when he pulled his arm back, DK was surprised and confused to find there was no body, blood, or any traces of his foe around the hole. He peered in, scratching his head in confusion as he began to realize his opponent SOMEHOW managed to tunnel away.

As he looked up, deciding the fight was over, Knuckles erupted from the ground behind him, spinning in a curled up ball, before uncurling and diving down at DK, his fists now covered in razor-sharp gauntlets. His fist connected with DK's head, slicing off the hair on top of it as the force of the punch knocked him down to the ground. DK got up, rubbing his head and finding the hair on top of it was gone, rendering him helpless to the continued assault from Knuckles. The red echidna continued his underground surprise claw attack, cutting some deep wounds in the mighty ape before deciding to end the fight once and for all. He burst from the ground right in front of the massive ape and delivered an onslaught of powerful and lightning-fast attacks, each effortlessly cutting through the giant monkey. Donkey Kong dropped onto his knuckles and struggled to keep himself standing, before he finally succumbed to his injuries and fell to his side, the life fading from the ruler of the island. "Guess you're not as strong as you thought you were." Knuckles said, walking off.

 **K.O!**

(the rest of the Kong's take DK's body and plan a burial ceremony as Knuckles stocks up on more bananas)

Well, that puts an end to the musical numbers. Anyway, Death Battle ATROCIOUSLY over-exaggerated the homing coconuts. Maikou informed me AND I watched a VERY LARGE number of playthroughs to find that, much like ANY OTHER homing attack, the coconuts fired from DK's shotgun DO NOT make a U-turn and come back for their target. They home in the first time and if the target manages to dodge, the coconuts miss, just like any other projectile.

I WILL admit, they had the details on the differences in strength and such correct, but Knuckles HAS been shown to think outside the box on occasion. Sonic Boom is COMPLETELY different from the mainstream Soniverse and is confirmed non-canon. Good thing, because it really makes a mockery of the characters. In the ACTUAL canon, Knuckles has moments of being quite clever, using decently large words and knowing what he's talking about, reading in MULTIPLE languages (some of which Sonic and the others CAN'T). So, while this DOES take away Knuckles' volcano feat, he still threw that giant-ass robot, which had to weigh from size alone and the fact it was metal, a couple hundred, possibly even THOUSAND, tons.

Anyway, Death Battle ALSO has a tendency to REPEATEDLY ignored HIGHLY CRUCIAL and important aspects of character, such as Shadow's Chaos Control and time-freezing abilities, Ryu's Fire Dragon Ninpo, the deadliness of Ivy's critical finish and of course Knuckles' Shovel Claw. Even if he DIDN'T cut off DK's hair and take away all of his strength, those claws can cut through METAL, I'm pretty sure it'll cause flesh and blood creatures like DK some devastating cuts. I guess Knuckles wasn't having any of DK's monkey business.

The RIGHT winner is Knuckles the Echidna.

...Oh, man, I'm cringing about how bad they're gonna mess up Wolverine or Raiden.


	2. Cloud vs Link

The two warriors stood a fair distance from each other. Link, the hero of Hyrule wielding his iconic Master Sword and Hylean shield. And Cloud Strife, the former soldier wielding his fully-assembled Fusion Sword. Cloud then flew forward at the younger hero, the two locking blades for a moment before Link backflip-jumped back and fired 2 energy waves from his sword, which Cloud easily stopped with one swing each, before doing a frontflip-jump and bringing his sword down on the ground, sending a much larger, more powerful wave of energy from his sword at Link, who was blasted back despite blocking it.

The young hero quickly recovered in midair, landing on his feet and skidding back a bit, readying himself as Cloud flew forward again. As he was about to reach the hero of Hyrule, Cloud quickly separated one of the blades from the Fusion sword, now wielding 2 large blades, which Link slightly struggled against, before rolling out of the way as Cloud quickly reconnected the swords and executed his Cross-slash attack and with a powerful strike, Link knocked Cloud forward a few feet, before the former-soldier recovered, faced his opponent and fired blasts of lightning from his sword, which Link mostly managed to stop except for the last one, which connected with him and spun him out of control. Link managed to land on his feet and continued running as Cloud did so as well, noticing he was now surrounded by the spheres of lightning, but with a clever jumping and spinning attack, he managed to avoid the blasts.

Cloud then jumped high into the air and fired down a much larger lightning sphere, but Link managed to catch it with his sword and throw it back at Cloud, knocking him back through the air. Link then fired a number of arrows at Cloud, who managed to block them with ease, before landing and rushing in again. Link then fired an arrow at Cloud and froze him with ice magic put into the arrow from one of his amulets, but thanks to his ribbon, Cloud was immune to being frozen and broke free a second later. Link blocked his next attack and threw his boomerang, Cloud separating a blade from his sword and dual-wielding again, cutting deep wounds into the hero and sending lines of blood everywhere, before Link uneasily rolled out of the way, dodging his next attack and blocking as Cloud used his Climhazard attack and managed to disarm Link of the Master Sword. Cloud then unleashed another powerful barrage of attack, which Link managed to block with his shield before the boomerang came back, hitting Cloud in the back of the head and stunning him for a moment, allowing Link to pull out his hookshot and fire towards the Master Sword. However, Cloud recovered just when Link stuck his arm out to fire the hookshot and with one swing, he sliced the arm off at the elbow. Link shouted in pain at this as Cloud swung the other sword upward and left a deep upward gash across Link's chest, stopping just before his neck. Cloud then swung his sword upwards again, Link managing to block the attack with as much strength as he could muster, but the strike knocked him into the air and ripped the Hylian shield from his weakening grip.

"This ends now!" Cloud said, his sword separating into its 6 blades, energy forming around them. Cloud dashed from sword to sword, slashing Link each time he passed him, an energy duplicate of himself at each blade, before the real Cloud flew higher into the air above the hero of Hyrule and flew downward, the energy duplicates rushing in first and each unleashing a devastating slash before Cloud himself came down at high speeds and cleaving the young hero in half. Cloud landing on the ground as 5 of the blades landed in a circle around him. He then reached his hand up and caught the main blade of the sword as Link's body fell in two pieces around him. "That was a good battle." Cloud said, walking away.

 _Analysis:_

 _1: The main problem of the Death Battle was, while they included information from Advent Children, they forgot one very important thing: Cloud's Fusion Sword, which he replaced Zack's Buster Sword with, making it a tombstone for Zack. This sword is more advanced than the Buster Sword, as it can separate into as much as 6 blades that combine into one to give Cloud more power. He can also at any point in a battle separate some of the blades to dual-wield, giving him twice the striking speed and power and making him a much more difficult opponent for Link to deal with._

 _2: Also, while I know the fight doesn't determine the outcome of said battle, in the original fight, they clearly showed Cloud hitting Link a decent number of times with his sword and taking little to no damage. I don't care what armor you're wearing, if you get hit by a sword that big, you are in pieces at best. Death Battle also has a history of displaying damage differently from universe to universe: one character takes life-threatening hits from bladed weapons and bleeds, while others look like they just got hit with a bat or something. This fight is a perfect example: Cloud hit Link many times with no blood to be shown, but Link hits Cloud and blood comes right out. And again, I know the fight doesn't really matter, but a simple boomerang would not stun Cloud very long, if at all considering the handful of other attacks he's taken, certainly not long enough for Link's hookshot to retrieve the Master Sword and pull it back to him before Cloud recovered._

 _3: While this may not be canon, in Kingdom Hearts Re:Coded, Cloud is capable of both blocking and taking hits from Hercules and even hitting him hard enough to force both of them back. Hercules is strong enough to easily throw the mountain-sized Rock Titan out into the distance to the point he does that cartoon star disappear thing. Applying that to real life actually means he just threw him hard enough to reach escape velocity, meaning he threw him at AT LEAST 25,020 miles per hour, certainly putting him above the strength Link has with his golden gauntlets, meaning Cloud, while not necessarily as strong as Hercules, is still at least physically stronger than Link with said gauntlets._

 _4: Ultimately, Cloud's physicality is actually more than Link can handle and his Fusion Sword makes him far less predictable than what Wizard and Boomstick originally shown him as. Also, to my knowledge, Link has not fought very many dual-wielders and as such, would have quite a difficult time handling one as skilled and powerful as Cloud._


	3. Fights that wouldn't happen

**Background music: "If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback (shut up, Nickelback haters, this is a beautiful song. Wonderful message)**

#1 Raiden vs. Wolverine

Raiden ran along the rooftops as the bipedal cow robots ravaged the city. He jumped off the roof and landed hard enough to create a crater in the ground. He jogged forward a few steps and noticed one of the robots was already shredded as if sliced apart by something almost on par with his HF blade. He looked around for a culprit, but found nothing. Suddenly, another of the robots landed behind him, to which he slowly started drawing his blade. It bellowed and prepared to attack, but suddenly the scene changes so we see a belt with an X symbol, then we see most of the body of a man in a skin-tight yellow and blue suit, Then, metal claws came from his hands as he jumped off the roof, diving at the robot and with two swift movement, cut through it and landed in a badass, yet graceful crouching position as the robot fell in two behind him. "Impressive." Raiden said.

"Yeah, thanks. You here to clean up these walking scrap cows, too?" Wolverine asked.

"Yeah. We need to stop them before any more of the city is destroyed or any more civilians are hurt." Raiden explained.

"You might need a hand. Count me in, just don't get in my way." Wolverine said as he rushed off.

"Heh. I'm starting to like you!" Raiden said as he took off after Wolverine, but taking a different path than he did. With the combined effort of the two, the town was clear in less than a minute and Raiden was considered an ally of the X-men.

#2: Solid Snake vs. Sam Fisher (okay, this one MIGHT happen, but it would get resolved decently fast, especially after Otacon discovered they're essentially on the same side)

"Snake! He's in the room!" Otacon whispered.

The two men leaned out of the doorway, aiming their pistols, only to come face to face with each other and quickly ducked back behind the doorway. "So, you a friend? Or an enemy?" Fisher asked.

"That depends. What side are you on? American government or military? Or someone else?" Snake asked.

"American Intelligence agency and proud of it." Fisher replied. The two men cautiously lowered their weapons and stepped back into the doorway, facing each other once again. "Sam Fisher." He replied, holding out his hand.

"Solid Snake. Heard of you, from the VERY few people who know about you, you're as much of a legend as I am." Snake said.

"Legend is a heavy term. Usually hundreds of people know about legends, less than 20 people know about you." Fisher said.

"Yeah. Where's the data?" Snake said.

"Over by that computer." Fisher said, pointing to it.

"Thanks." Snake said, downloading the same files.

"If both of us have this intel, it might be easier to bring these bastards down." Fisher said.

"Yeah. A joint operation may even be in order." Snake said while still focusing on the data.

(Scenario 2)

As Fisher attempted to get the data back, a deafening static came into his ears. "Agh! What is that?!" He groaned in pain.

"I don't know! Someone's hacking us!" Grim said as she attempted to work her systems.

"Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?" Otacon asked.

"Who is this?! Identify yourself!" She demanded.

"I'm Otacon. I'm impressed, your security's pretty state of the art. Not good enough, though. But anyway, now that I know who you are. I can safely tell you we're on the same side. So, if you'd tell Mr. Fisher there to stop trying to kill my buddy, I'd appreciate it. I already told him to stand down." Otacon explained.

She growled that someone managed to hack her system, but did what he asked anyway. "Sam, stand down, It's a friendly." She grumbled.

"That might be a problem, since I already gut shot him, but fine, I'm standing down." He said, walking through the compound until he found Snake. "So, turns out we're on the same side. Sorry about shooting you in that case." He said.

"I'm used to it. Takes more than that to kill me." Snake said, although there was some slight anger in his voice.

"The data?" Fisher asked.

"Both of us need it, but thanks to you, there's only one. I'll have Otacon send you the details later." Snake said as he walked away.

"Not a perfect solution, but it works for me." Fisher said, also heading to the exit. (Scenario 2 is a bit more likely, I'll admit).

#3: Yang vs. Tifa

Everyone looked to the doors in shock at the sound of fighting outside the doors, which then shattered as the doorman was thrown through it, causing people to scream and run away while Tifa looked up from the bar in shock. Yang stepped through, trying to calm everyone down while still being sassy. "Hellooooo, no need to panic, people. I'm just looking for someone. I will take a Strawberry Sunrise, though. No ice. Thanks." She said, giving Tifa a thumb's up as she turned away from the bar, scanning the crowd for her taget.

Tifa jumped over the table at this and prepared to fight. "Sorry, miss. I think you'd better turn yourself around and look elsewhere." She said, getting into her fighting stance.

Despite Yang's love for action and fighting, she knew she couldn't afford to cause more damage than necessary or let her target get away. So as much as she didn't want to, she resorted to diplomacy. "Relax. I'm a Huntress." She said, turning her head and looking down at the floor. "In training..." She said silently, before turning back. "I'm looking for a very dangerous person right now. So you should PROBABLY sit this one out." She said.

Tifa didn't like the idea of someone causing trouble in her bar, but Huntsman and Huntresses outranked and had more authority than the police or even the military (reference: RWBY Volume 3, World of Remnant: Huntsman). So, like it or not, she had to stand down. "Fine. Just try not to make a mess." She grumbled.

"Don't worry. Handling things delicately is my specialty." She lied as she walked off.

#4 Red & Charizard vs. Tai & Augumon

"Ahh, there's nothing better than a campfire and a golden, delicious marshmallow." Augumon said as he roasted said marshmallow over said campfire.

"Who's that Pokemon?" Red asked, throwing a Pokeball at it. It hit Augumon, but nothing happened except it hurt the tiny dinosaur creature, causing him to grumble in pain and look in horror as his marshmallow fell INTO the fire.

"You killed my marshmallow!" He said in a tone I honestly can't tell if it's supposed to be sadness, anger or accusation.

Red was slightly dumbfounded at this, before he realized. "It didn't work?! That must mean you have a trainer. But wow! I can't believe you can talk! You must be really rare!" He said in amazement.

At that moment, Tai walked up with a bunch of sticks in his arms. "Hey, Augumon. I brought some more firewood." He said, before noticing Red. "Oh, hey. Who are you?" He asked.

"He killed my marshmallow and threw that at my head!" Augumon said, pointing the the Pokeball still sitting a few feet away from him.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I thought he was a wild Pokemon, so I tried to catch him." Red explained.

"I don't know what a Pokemon is, but he's a Digimon. His name's Augumon. He's my best friend." Tai explained.

"I've never heard of a Digimon before. And this is a Pokemon. My best friend, Charizard." Red explained, releasing Charizard.

"Whoa." Tai said as he saw the fire dragon that towered over the 3 of them.

"Anyway, I'm sorry about the marshmallow. Here, I have some more." Red said, walking over and pulling a bag of marshmallows from his backpack. The 4 of them quickly became friends, Tai and Red discussing their adventures and the differences between Pokemon and Digimon as Charizard and Augumon bonded in their own way, the Flame Pokemon even letting Augumon roast his marshmallows over his tail flame for an instant golden-brown marshmallow.

 **Friendship!**

And most, if not all of the 2D fights wouldn't happen, either. People don't just lock eyes and start to kill each other.


End file.
